The Last Time
by Azusasan
Summary: Onesided AlexXFelix, dab of PicardXFelix. For Wusai. Alex considers love a weakness... So he could never touch Felix. Only look from afar. He would never realize...


The Last Time  
  
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[Notes: o___O;; I wrote an Alex x Felix! Wonders will never cease. But, you know, because I'm such a hardcore Picard x Felix fan, dabs of that will be in the end. Just a *little*. =D There's a reason why 'angst' was slapped on with the romance genre. ^_^; I haven't played either GS or GS2 in ages (I'm sorry, I 3 FFTA...), so if I'm incorrect on anything, just tell me so in a review. I'll get around to fixing anything... +_+;  
  
For WUSAI, cuz she's one of those people I label 't3h awesome.' I shall hunt down whoever reported your essay. T_T Grrr.  
  
Have fun with my poor attempt at angsty Porcelainshipping! o_o;]  
  
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[ alex x felix / dedication: wusai ]  
  
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I had always been so close. So close to everything. I had been so close to Mia, and in her, I had a chance to be truly happy. But I didn't take it while I had the chance. I had been so close to unlocking Alchemy's secrets... too close. I never attained it. But what makes me hate myself even more is that I had been so close to him... And nothing... nothing ever happened.  
  
I didn't know what Saturos and Menardi had seen in him at first. I found him just a perpetually quiet little boy that looked far too scrawny for his age. Saturos trained him in swordfighting, and Menardi honed his Psynergy skills. I still saw no change. But once two years had passed, I saw small changes. Little things, like longer training hours. It puzzled me, why I noticed. And this puzzlement plagued me -- nothing ever escaped the reaches of my mind.  
  
An inkling of the answer came to me once Jenna was brought along with us. She would talk to him for hours on end, catching up on things that I thought weren't of much importance. Her birthday, his birthday, how the boys were, how he was holding up... But how happy she was, despite the circumstances, made something fit together. Siblings. They adored each other's presence, cared for the other...  
  
I still didn't fully understand. Over the years we spent together, little between us ever changed. He still talked little. I never talked much to begin with, but after so long, I would feel a need to speak with him. Just to hear his voice. Once this urge began to wreak my life, I shut myself away from the rest of them. This... it wasn't that eternal weakness Mia had spoken of so loftily, was it? It was called...  
  
By the time things finally fell in place, both the Mercury and Venus lighthouses had been lit. Idejima. That was where I saw him and the girl of the gods wash ashore on our strange, enisled peninsula... I felt such a need to care for him, take care of his wounds, never let him out of sight... I had restrained myself. I needed no more weaknesses than those I already carried with me. After the tidal wave had struck us, I was separated from them. That wasn't right. I left while they were all unconscious, making my escape from the weakness that tore at my soul.  
  
The next time I saw him, it was at Madra. I managed to disguise my relief at seeing him in one piece fairly well, as he left soon afterwards, apparently seeing no other use to talk with me any longer. After that, it was a fairly long drought before I saw him again, in Champa. I accused him of abandoning me -- my only way to keep my emotions blocked from view. I knew it wasn't true. I'm sure he knew it, too. I held my head high, kept a distance, and acted aloofly. I could only hope he hadn't noticed any strangeness... Maybe I hoped he did. I really didn't know at that point...  
  
The entire time he and his friends traversed the Jupiter lighthouse, I watched from afar. They got along so well... unlike the Proxans. They thought out the answers to the many traps with little trouble and fought off the monsters without much difficulty. It was another weakness... friendship. While it would likely save them, it would undoubtedly ruin me. I revealed myself when he weas about to go up and light the beacon. All I could do was heal him and his party... I knew there were plenty of other things I could have done, but I couldn't bring myself to do any of them. He had that questioning look in his eyes as he turned and exited out onto the aerie. I refused to answer.  
  
And the last I saw of him...  
  
The Golden Sun had been rising. I was about to gain all of Alchemy... when the Wise One intervened. I never thought that I'd fight a one-eyed rock... It amused me, even as Sol Sanctum began to crumble away beneath my feet. The last I saw of him, he was with his family... The ones he loved. I was glad that he was happy... Even when I knew the Lemurian loved him as much as I had, and he loved him back. I still regret not ever telling him... It's too late now, though.  
  
No... that wasn't the last time I saw him. The last time... it was in the dreams of my eternal sleep.  
  
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fin  
  
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o__o;; I never meant it to end up completely one-sided AND a death-fic! I swear! ::Runs from angry mob of reviewers:: Don't kill meeeee!  
  
:: tell someone you love them, tell them again, tell them again :: 


End file.
